


The experiment

by SunshineTaj



Category: metamoro - Fandom
Genre: I Don't Even Know, M/M, a fun fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-01-31 19:03:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18597508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineTaj/pseuds/SunshineTaj
Summary: Inspired by a reality show I watched. This is by far the weirdest idea I had. Just bear with me.





	1. Chapter 1

Ermal's hands were sweating and his legs were shaking, he was so nervous he barely keeped himself standing up. His only remedy was his mother's soft smile, every time he turned toward her, setting in the first row. Of course Rinald and Sabina were there to. Sabina, in a beautiful long summer dress, sitting next to their mother. And Rinald standing behind him, a little to his right, wearing a suit that made him look extremely uncomfortable. There were his other relatives to. All his cousins and aunts, uncles, some of the people he didn't even recognize, but believed his mom when she said they were related. His friends were there. Marco and Dino were smiling at him and Andrea raised his thumb, as to say ‘it will be okay’, Emiliano was filming everything and Roberto was talking to a girl next to him. Ermal was glad all those people came to support him, he really needed it. 

He turned to the other side as well. There were less people sitting there on those elegant white chairs, but he didn't recognize any of their faces. Strangers to him, but a family to a person he is yet to meet. He felt a hand on his shoulder, it was his brother's, who saw his nervousness and whispered in his ear: “It's going to be fine big bro, yeah? It's all gonna work out.” Ermal found himself nodding weakly. 

You see, a few months ago, Ermal took a crazy decisions to participate in a sort of experiment where a group of experts will pick him a bride. A perfect match to be precise. He had to undergo an extreme amount of tests, questionnaires and meetings with psychologists, so they could figure out who he is as a person, what he is looking for in a partner, and what he actually needs. He completely devoted himself to this experiment and put his trust in the experts. And today was his big day. Today he is going to meet his perfect match, and also marry her. That was one of the things that experiment required, after all, it was called ‘married at the first sight’. Now, all this months later, he was standing there, at the altar in a beautiful outdoor venue, with Rinald on his side as his best man and all of his family behind him, waiting to meet his bride. 

He tried imagen what she'll be like. Kind, open minded and soft hearted. And beautiful, of course she'll be beautiful. Maybe blond with long hair and blue eyes? No, that is his ex he imagined just now. She broke his heart after nine years of a life together and made Ermal feel so desperate he decided to let other people look for a perfect person for his to love. No, so not her. Looking at the relatives at the bride’s side of the venue, most of the people was dark haired, so maybe she will be to? Yes, dark wavy hair and tanned skin, kind eyes and a beautiful smile, probably a bit shorter than him and in a beautiful white dress. Not the type he would usually go for, but looks never mattered to him much anyway. He was sure he'll be able to grow to love her, if only they'll match in other aspects of life. Maybe she'll be an artist like him? He'd like that. A painter, or maybe a dancer - that would fit him well, somebody who likes music. Or at last somebody who appreciates art, if not an artist. He was sure the experts toughed of that to. 

Suddenly there was no more time for him to think about it because the music started and Ermal nervously turned around. He espacted a trail of bridesmaids coming down the stairs, but there was only one person. A beautiful young woman with dark hair and a long maroon dress, made of satin, walk down the aisle. People on the bride's side smiled at her and some even took pictures with their phones. Ermal smiled to. She was beautiful, and quite like he imagined her. Her dress matched his maroon suit, and her hair flowed behind her. As she came down to the altar, she smiled bright at Ermal and just when he was about to reach for her hand, she stepped asaid. Positioning herself so she was mirroring Rinald. Oh, Ermal thought, so she was the maid of honor. He blushed with embarrassment and looked down for a bit. He really did imagine his bride will have a bunch of maids, but she seems to be more minimalistic, Ermal already liked that about her. The music changed and he looked up again. People on the bride's side stood up and so did the people on his, indicating that the bride will be coming next. He got more nervous again and Rinald put a hand on his shoulder once more. On top of the stairs a man showed up. Is he a bride's father? He looks a little young for that. Maybe it will be her brother walking her down, like he and Rinald did for Sabina. But the man started walking down alone. Ermal got confused. What is going one? Is there some kind of double wading going to happen? Are their brides going to fallow? The man just keep on walking, the people on the bride's side were all smiling at him and a woman in the first row stood up to hug him. So did the maid of honor. Then he turned to Ermal and smiled bright at him, offering his hand. 

“Hi, I'm Fabrizio.”

Ermal blacked out for a moment staring at the offered hand but than finally looked up. 

 

“Y-you're a man?!”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous episode Ermal meet his 'bride', that wasn't exactly what he expected. Will he be able to carry on with the wedding? Find out in this episode of Married at first sight! ;)

“Y-you're a man?!”  
Ermal keep blinking in surprise, as the man in front of him lowered his hand, that Ermal didn't shake.   
“Yes, I am. Good observation skills, I like that in a person.” He joked, and the people on his side laughed, but Ermal didn't register it. He was still in a state of shock. With his mouth half open and horrified eyes he turned to Rinald, who still had a hand on his shoulder, but it now felt like it was made of stone. His brother’s face expression matched his own and they just stared at one another for a moment. Then Ermal turned away, looking from one person to another, like he is searching for an answer and the cousin he last meet when he was 11, could explain what is going on. Everyone looked equally confused as he was but than he found the warm eyes of his mother. She smiled encouragingly to him and softly nodded her head. Ermal turned back to the man in front of him and once again blinked at him in confusion.  
“I'm sorry, I'm Ermal.” He offered his hand this time. The guy, what was his name again, took his hand to shake it, but then took it in his left hand and held to it. Ermal wanted to pull his hand away but the marriage officiant started speaking.   
“Dearly beloved, we’ve gathered here today to see the beginning of a new love story. In fairy tales a love story ends with a wedding, this one will begin with it …”  
Ermal's whole body begin to shake, he felt like he is about to coleps. What is going on, is this a joke? Another test? Are they trying to see how far is he ready to go? If he would marry a man to prove he is truly devoted to this experiment? Yeah, that's it. That's what is proba -   
“Ermal?“   
He was pulled out of his thoughts by the voice of a officiant.   
“Ermal, I asked: do you take this man as your husband?”  
“I - I,” he panicked and for a moment it took his breath away, but then the man opposite him took his other hand to, and brushed his thumbs over his hands gently. And not only did it take Ermal's attention of his panic but it also calmed him down. He looked at the man and apparently his eyes spoke instead of his lips because the man smiled softly at him.   
“Hay, it's okay, I'm scared to.”   
There was something in his smile and in the way he said those words that made Ermal trust him. Well, trust him enough to turn to the officiant and say:  
“I do.”   
The man smiled brighter at him and Ermal couldn't help but rise a corner of his lips as well.   
“Now you Fabrizio, do you take this man as your husband?”   
Fabrizio! At least Ermal now had a name again.   
“I do.” Fabrizio said looking in his eyes.   
“You may exchange the rings now.”   
Ermal turned to Rinald for a ring. His brother didn't look as horrified anymore and that calmed Ermal even more. Fabrizio took his left hand in his own and put a simple silver ring on his finger. Ermal then did the same and noticed the tattoo of a sun on his hands. He didn't know much about tattoos, but a sun could only symbolize something beautiful, something good, right? Not a serial killer or a mafia boss. No, definitely not. He stared at the tattoo for a moment too long, holding Fabrizio's hand in his, until the other pulled away gently and reached for his other hand to hold again. The gusts applauded as they exchanged the rings and the officiant said:   
“By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husbands. You may kiss.”   
Ermal fell in another round of panic and it seemed the fear was written in his eyes because Fabrizio didn't even try to reach for his lips. He simply leaned forward and kissed his cheek. The gusts applauded again. 

Ermal felt like he was in some sort of trens. He still didn't perceive what happened or what was going on right now, when he walked down the aisle, hand in hand with a man. At the beginning of the stairs that lead to a beautiful old mangion they'll have a party at, they were swept away by a photographer. Right, Ermal completely forgot they'll be taking wedding photos together.   
They walked toward a nearby river where photographer told them how to pose. Fabrizio tried to talk to him a little, but Ermal was in the world of his own. How could they do this to him? He just married a man. His head started to spin again.   
“You're not very talkative, hm?”   
Ermal looked around himself. They were standing on a nice little bridge, Fabrizio was facing him, one of his hands was on his shoulder.   
“I'm sorry, I didn't - I - have you asked me something?“   
Fabrizio chuckled softly and Ermal noticed he had freckles on his nose.   
“I wanted to know where are you from?”  
“Originally I'm from Albania, but I lived in Bari for a long time and now I live in Milan.”   
“Milan?” Fabrizio chuckled again. “Funny, because I have a song with a line ‘I'll love you even if you're from Milan’. Must be a good sign.”   
“You have a song?“ Ermal asked surprised.   
“Please step a little closer.” Before Fabrizio could answer they were disturbed by a photographer. “Yes, just like that. Ermal can you put your hands on Fabrizio's waist? Now maybe put your foreheads together.”   
They did as they were told, the only sound were the cliks of the camera.   
“I know you just meet, but try looking a little bit more in love.”   
Fabrizio moved a curl from his forehead and Ermal closed his eyes.   
“Yeeees, that's what I'm talking about. Trust me, you'll love this photos in tan years.”   
The realisation of the situacion hit Ermal again and he jerked away.   
“You okay?”  
“I'm fine, yes. Where are you from?”  
“Less talking, more posing please!” The photographer screamed at them. Fabrizio changed their position, so he was standing behind Ermal now, his arms around his waist.   
“I'm from Rome, and about the song, I'm a singer. Well mostly a producer nowadays, but I did had a few hits.”   
Ermal turned around and his eyes lit up.   
“You're a musician? So am I!”   
“Really? That's great. Do I know any of your songs?”  
“Probably not, but maybe you know something I wrote for other people. You know Marco Mengoni?”  
“Of course I do.”   
“I wrote like, half of his latest album.”   
“I liked that album -”   
“Aaand we're done! Great. Thank you guys.” The photographer lead them toward the mension. 

“You're ready to go in?”  
“Not really.”   
“Oh, you wanna stay here for a while?”  
“No - no, let's just do it.” Ermal mumbled end walked in. All of their relatives were waiting in a beautiful big wedding hall. They cheered when the two newlywed husbands walked into the room. Ermal and Fabrizio set down in the middle of the long table. On Ermla's right was Rinald, next to him their mother and then Sabina with her husband and some of their closest cousins. On Fabrizio's left set a pretty woman, his maid of honor, that Fabrizio now introduced to him as his sister, Ermal did not remember her name. Next to him set the rest of their family, with both parents present as well. After all the greetings, introductions, congratulations, hugs and kisses, they all set down and started eating.   
Somewhere in the middle of a main course Ermal dropped his fork and got up.   
“Excuse me, I need some fresh air.” He rushed outside before anyone could say something. Sabina raised immediately and pulled their brother with her. Turning to her mother, she said:  
“Come after us if we don't bring him back in ten minutes.” She kissed her mother's cheek and walked out with a very confused Rinald under her arm.   
“Sabina? What are we doing?”  
“We are going to talk to our brother. Didn't you see his face when he left? He is on the edge of a breakdown.”   
“Seamed fine to me.”   
Sabina only gave him a sharp look. They found Ermal on a bench near the river, with his head in hands and his shirt unbuttoned.   
“Ermal?”  
“I can't breath!”   
“Oh,” Sabina set next to him and put a hand on his back, “breath with me, I'll count.”   
That helped him a little and he managed to look up. Rinald set on the other side of him.   
“What is going on Ermal? Do you have something to tell us?” He asked playfully, but was soon meet with two pairs of matching angry eyes, Sabina's more than Ermal’s, if you asked him.   
“I don't know why they did that. Why did they marry me to a man? I just - It doesn't make sense.”   
Rinald pulled him into a hug, leaving their younger sister the speaking part.   
“They must have a good reason. I'm sure he is a good person and once you'll meet him better, you'll found out you have a lot on common.”   
“I'm not attracted to men!“   
“I know. But you know attraction isn't everything. I wasn't immediately attracted to my husband when I first meet him. And who could guarantee you'd be attracted to a woman they'd pick as your bride?”  
“I know, but - I've never been attracted to a man. How will I - I can't even hold his hand.” He had his face in Rinald's chest, Sabina stroked his hair.   
“You already held his hand and it didn't seem like a big deal to me. But Ermal don't forget, it's just an experiment, not an actually real marriage. Nothing bad will happen if it doesn't work out. Just give it a chance, give him a chance, if nothing else you'll walk out of it with a new friend.”   
“You think so?” He looked up and both Sabina and Rinald nodded. “I'll try then.”   
“Good. ” Now Sabina leaned into a hug as well, it was strange for the both of them to see their brother so vulnerable and confused, they were both used to him being strong and protective over them, not the other way around.   
“It’s just an experiment. You can always walk out of it. But do try and make friends with him like Sabina said.” Rinald added. Ermal nodded.   
“Thank you, both of you. I mean it.” Rinald messed his hair and Sabina kissed his cheek.   
“It's going to be okay, you'll see.”  
Rinald saw their mother approaching, he got up and Sabina followed him. They left the two alone. 

“Zemra ime?”  
“Mom”   
She immediately took him in her arms and Ermal felt like a child again.   
“Are you feeling better now, darling?”  
“I am. I just wasn't imagining it like this. He is a man, mom!”  
“And a very nice one. I talked to Fabrizio now, while you were gone. He really seems like a good person.”   
“He does?”  
“Yes.”   
“Mom, you know I'm not - I'm not…”   
“I know. Because if you were gay, you'd tell me. You always told me everything and I know you wouldn't hide that away from me either. I always told you that I'll love you, no matter what. That still stands.”  
Ermal hugged his mom tighter.   
“All this people now think I am.”   
“And? It's not like it's something bad.”   
“True. But I'm not.”   
“Don't worry amore, we were all expecting a bride, just as much as you, everyone was surprised when they saw Fabrizio. All your relatives know this is an experiment and that you did not pick him. Nobody is judging you or loveing you any less than they did before.” She kissed his head. Ermal felt his phone buzzing and took it out of his pocket.   
“It's nona.” He said and answered. Simply hearing here voice brought tears in his eyes and when she asked how the wedding was going, he started crying. Too much emotions has bottled in side of him.   
“Why are you crying, dielli im?”  
“I married a man, nona.”   
“That's not a good reason to cry. People nowaday marry all kinds of things. The other day I watched a documentary about a woman who married a dolphin. Can you imagine? A dolphin…” Ermal listened to her chattering and even thought she was way off topic, it made him feel better somehow. His grandmother always did. Soon the tears stopped falling and his mother wiped the old ones from his face as his lips started scratching into a small smile. His grandmother was now talking about her own marriage and how happy she was on her wedding day. She reminded him he should be happy to and Ermal found himself nodding, even if she couldn't see him.   
At the end of the phone call she wished him luck and happens.   
“Will you bring your new husband with you the next time you come visit?”  
Ermal didn't have it in himself to say no.   
“I will.”  
“Great, I'll cook something good for you two. Unë të dua Ermal.”  
“I love you to, grandma.” They hanged up and Ermal felt way better than before. On the way back to the mansion he buttoned up his shirt and before entering his mother stopped him for a moment. She fixed his collar and bow.   
“Here,” she hugged him one last time before going in and whispered in his ear, “I love you more than anything in the world, yes? You, Rinald and Sabina. More than anything. Always.”   
Ermal felt like crying again, this time out of happiness, but managed not to. He kissed his mother cheek and they went inside. 

It seemed his own wedding was going on well, with or without him. The majority of people, was dancing or getting drunk, not really caring what the occasion was. Only the closest relatives were still sitting at the long table. Waking into the room, Ermal noticed Sabina talking to Fabrizio and Rinald cheating to somebody who looked like a younger version of his new husband, so he assumed that it was his brother. He set in his place again and Fabrizio turned toward him, Sabina walking away to their brother.   
“You okay?” He asked gently. “I wanted to go after you, but your mother advised me not to.”   
“Oh, sorry. Yes, I'm okay. I just needed a little moment to myself. A lot is going on today.”  
“I know. I'm not a fan of big crowds and loud places myself. I mean, concerns are one thing, but this is totally different.”  
“It is pretty loud here.” Ermal said, only now noticing a loud bit of the music, he would never pick for the wedding.   
“Do you wanna step outside for a bit? Or were you planning to finish this?” Fabrizio pointed at his plate.   
“Not really, my stomach feels like I swallowed a stone.”   
Fabrizio smiled and they stood up, walking out on the terrace. The music wasn't as loud out there and that gave them a chance to talk properly.   
They leaned on a stone fence that separated the terrace from the outdoors.   
“I was so anxious about today. Couldn't sleep last night at all.” Fabrizio started.” And today I was a mess. I spilt my coffee all over myself when I was already wearing a shirt and then Romnia had to get me a new one out of nowhere. That is also why you had to wait in front of the altar for so long. I'm sorry we were late.”   
Ermal smiled, it was comforting knowing he wasn't the only one that was scared. But he had to ask.   
“Fabrizio, were you expecting you'll marry a man?”  
“Not exactly. I did say I was bi when they asked me, and I did say I don't have a preference. I got the idea you'll be a man when they told me I'll be the one walking down the azil and not waiting in front of the altar. You seemed more surprised.”  
“I didn't imagine it that way. I didn't for one moment think you'll be a man.” Ermal replayed looking into the distance.   
“How so?”  
“I'm not gay.”  
“Well neither am I.”  
“Yes, but I'm not bi eather. Or pan.”   
“Oh.” Un uncomfortable silence set between them, neither of them knowing what to say, neither of them dearing to look at the other.   
After a while, Fabrizio decided to speak.   
“Ermal, I understand if you want to stop this experiment right now.” His face sad and his voice quiet.   
“I - I don’t? If that's okay with you? I mean, it is weird, and I did not imagine it like this. I'm not gonna lie, I had a bit of a breakdown before, when I run out, but…” He took a breath, not really believing what he is about to say, “but I do wanna try this? If I walk out now I'll never know why we were paired up and I gave so much hope into this and - and I don't know if I can ever be attracted to a man, but maybe we can try and be friends? I'm sorry, you probably didn't imagine this either.”   
Fabrizio's face light up again.   
“I do want to try this. And no, it's definitely not how I imagined it, but would it ever be? That is kind of a point, it's like a blind date, you don't know who you'll get.”   
Ermal loughted a little.   
“A blind wedding. How crazy are we to do something like this.”  
“Completely insane.” They both laughed at that and Ermal noticed how Fabrizio's handsome face become softer, how he wrinkled his nose and try to hide his smile with his hands. Ermal never had a problem with admitting a man was handsome when he saw one, and Fabrizio definitely was one. They eventually calmed down and Ermal felt more relaxed now.   
“Seriously tho, what did you expect? Obviously not a man, but do I have at least some of the qualities you were looking for?” Fabrizio asked curiously, a small smile still on his face.   
“I don't know, I can't say yet. But - but, you are funny, so that's good. And you like music! That's very important to me. Emmm, well, I'm still not over the fact you're a man, but I guess I was imagining someone younger than me. Someone I could maybe one day start a family with? I don't know, I'm not even sure I want kids, I love them, but I'm not sure if I want to be a father. Well, that's out the picture now anyway.”   
“Actually,” Fabrizio scratched the back of his neck a little anxiously, “there is something I need to tell you ...” 

***

In the next episode: Fabrizio reveals his big secret. Will Ermal except it, or will he run away? Find out in the next episode of Married at first sight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous episode Ermal and Fabrizio got married, but now Fabrizio has a big secret to reveal, will Ermal excapte it, or will the marriage fall apart before it even started? Find out on this episode of Married at first sight!

“There is something I need to tell you.” Fabrizio seamed more nervous now and Ermal wondered what could make the other man feel like this.   
“I don't know how ... Okay, here it is” he took a shaky breath, “I have kids.”   
Ermal raised an eyebrow looking at Fabrizio. So that was what made the other so worried? He almost felt like laughing. After all that happened that day, Fabrizio thought he would get upset with something so normal as a man his age having kids?   
“Ermal? Please say something.”   
“Are they here today? I don't remember seeing any children.” It's true, because if Ermal would see any kids, he'd already be playing with them. He loved children and preferred their company over the company of adults.   
“No-o, the experts thought it would be better for them if they meet you later in the experiment.”   
“Oh, that's a shame. I'd love to meet them.” Ermal added more to himself, than Fabrizio, but the other heard him.   
“Really?”   
“Yes, I love kids. Tell me about them. How many do you have? How old are they?”  
Fabrizio smiled and the nervousness finally left him.   
“Libero is my son, he is nine and a really good kid, smart, loves football and is doing great in school. He is a bit quiet for a boy his age, but does relex around the people he likes.” Fabrizio smirked. “I guess he took after me. Apart from Anita. She is my youngest, just turned five, and is a little ball of energy. She likes to dress up and perform, pretending she's on stage. She runs around and sing all the time.”   
While talking, Fabrizio's lips spread in to a soft smile, that was definitely only reserved for his children. Listening to him, Ermal smiled to, he wanted to meet them even more now.   
“They sound lovely.” Ermal turned his smile to him. “And I'm sure Anita took after you as well, if she likes to sing and perform. Don't you think?”  
“Maybe. But I never had as much self confidence as she does.”   
Fabrizio’s eyes shyly found Ermal's.   
“Em, do they know their papa got married today?”   
“They do. Anita doesn't really understand or care much, but she was a bit angry that she couldn't come to the wedding. She keep talking about how she wants to see a bride in here beautiful princes dress.”   
Fabrizio looked worriedly at Ermal, almost as if he wants to apologize to him for his youngest calling him a bride. Ermal only smiled wider.  
“It seems we both imagined to see a bride in a white dress today. It will give us something to bond over.”   
Fabrizio's worry disappeared and he let out a chuckle.   
“Good.”  
“What about Libero? How did he take it?“  
“Well, he didn't show it, but I think it came to him as a shock. After all, I never brought anyone home and introduce them as my partner. He wanted to know who am I marrying. I decided to tell him all about the experiment, and let him ask all the questions he wanted. He was very quiet for days after, I think he was thinking it over in his head, trying to make sense of it.” Fabrizio who was looking away while he was talking about his son now looked back at Ermal. “But yesterday, when I was packing, he came to me and said he thinks it's actually a good idea to have somebody picked by the experts. He hugged me and said he just wants me to be happy.” Fabrizio looked down, tears visible in his eyes. “I don't know what I did to deserve Libero and Anita.”   
Listening to a father talking about his children with so much love in his voice made Ermal emotional and nostalgic for something he never had.   
“You're a great father, that's way you deserve them. I really hope I get to meet them soon.” Ermal gently smiled at him.   
“Thank you. And I'm sure they'll like you.”   
They stayed quiet and after awhile Fabrizio said:  
“I think we should go back inside, I want to introduce you to some of my friends.”   
Ermal nodded and Fabrizio took him by the hand. The younger quickly pulled away, but then panicked when he realized what he did. He didn't want Fabrizio to think it was his fault or that he pulled away because Fabrizio was a man. The touch just took him by surprise.   
“Emmm, sorry, I - I -” He tried explaining himself but didn't know where to start.   
“That's okay, I’m sorry to. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. We need to talk about this later, okay?”  
Ermal looked up at him with grateful eyes.   
“Thank you, I just - I'm sorry, but please know it's not your fault. I'm just not used to it.”   
“Don't worry about it.” Fabrizio softly smiled at him and they went inside. He lead Ermal to a round table with his friends. 

“Look, the love birds are back.”   
“You two already started your honeymoon?”  
“Guys, calm down.” Fabrizio looked at Ermal concerned and then back at his friends. “This is Ermal, Ermal this are my friends and coworkers: Claudio, Andrea, Alessandro and Roberto.” They all shook his hand and Ermal turned his eyes to an only woman sitting at the table.   
“And this is Giada, she is -...”   
“A friend as well,” she stood up and kissed Ermal's cheek, “nice to meet you.” She rubbed the lipstick she left of his cheek and Ermal smiled at her, she seemed nice.   
“It's okay, I've told him about Libero and Anita.” He turned to Ermal. “Giada is their mother.”   
“Oh.” So Fabrizio invited his ex to their wedding? That means they must get along well. Somebody who can look beyond the mistakes and faults that lead to a breakup and can still be nice to their ex, is not a quality found in many people. Ermal was slowly getting the idea that Fabrizio was truly a good person.   
Watching Fabrizio joke around with his friends also made him realise another thing, he was very affectionate, Fabrizio had no problem with hugging everyone tight and kissing their cheeks. And that could become a problem for him. Ermal never really liked it much when people touched him, of course that doesn't include his family, but even some of his closest friends - his band members only hugged him in concerts. It took him a long time to get used to how affectionate people were in Italy, as a child he didn't like it when they kissed his cheek as a way of greeting, but now he learned to get used to it.   
In relationships Ermal never had a problem with affection, but he did need a long time to warm up to a person, to trust them. In general he found it easier to open up to and be affectionate with women. After all, a woman never hurt him like a man did.   
Fabrizio, however didn't seem to have that problem, since now Ermal was introducing him to his friends and Fabrizio hugged Marco like they knew each other their whole lifes. He really hoped this won't become a problem between them.   
Another thing that wasn't a problem was their friends getting along. It seemed they quickly found a topic - music, to talk about and bond over. Ermal once again taught how everyone seemed to have more fun on his wedding then he did. Until Dino pulled him a little to the side, away from the others.   
“Hey, are you okay?”   
“I'm fine.”   
“You sure?”  
“Yes.”  
“Ermal, I'm sorry, but I have to ask, why didn't you ever tell me you're bi? You know I would’ve been okay with it.” Dino looked almost a little offended.   
“But I'm not. I don't know why they matched me with a man.”  
“Oh!?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Wait,” Dino scratched his beard, “how will this work then?”   
“I-I don't know.” The singer admitted honestly.   
“Well, it looks to me you decided to try it anyway?”   
Ermal nodded and Dino smiled.   
“Then go and enjoy your wedding. Oh, and Ermal? You know you have all of ours full support, right?“ He did a circling motion with his hand as to show their group of friends. Ermal was moved.  
“I know, thank you.”   
Dino smiled and they walked back to their friends. 

“I think it's time our newlywed husbands have a drink.” A man with unimpressive head, Roberto, suggested.  
“Yeah, come on boys!”   
Before they knew it they each had a glass of champagne in their hands and the crowd cheered loudly for them.   
“Are we going to intervene our arms?” Ermal asked.   
“I think that's what they want, but only if you're okay with it.”   
Ermal nodded and they crossed their arms, standing closer and gulping down their drinks. The crowd cheered louder before they went back to dancing and drinking. The two husbands went back to their table, but were soon swept away by their gusts, each in a different direction. Ermal was offered countless drinks and soon started feeling more relaxed and visibly tired, it has been a long day filed with a lot of emotions and he was looking forward to going to bed. Fabrizio on the other hand didn't look much better. He did spend some time dancing and messing around with his friends, but it was all very short lived. They were both happy when cake was finally brought in to the room. They cut the first piece together and with the incentive from the crowd, they feed it to each other. Ermal may or may not have missed Fabrizio's mouth on purpose, and smiled as Fabrizio struggled to eat it. He finally managed to enjoy himself a little, there was something about Fabrizio's company that made him feel calmer and like they were the only two people in the room. It was good and he was looking forward to getting to know him better. After the cake they were again asked to drink together, and not only once, but to the point when Ermal was feeling himself gettin tipsy. Fabrizio seemed to be in a better condicion, he didn't drink as much, or maybe he was just better at holding his liquor. 

The night finally ended for them and a nice black car was waiting in the dark in front of the mension. They said goodbye to their families and friends and left to the car that took them to the hotel. During the ride they didn't talk much, both too tired to speak, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, rether needed and enjoyed by the both of them. Getting out of the car, Ermal realized how drunk he actually was. He could barely standing on his feet and the world around him seemed to spin slightly.   
“Uh-oh.”   
“Need some help?“ Fabrizio was quickly on his side, offering him his elbow. Ermal looked at it and then held to his arm for support.   
“I don't drink often.”  
“I can see that.” Fabrizio smiled and they slowly made it to their room. In front of the door Ermal stopped, a brilliant idea popping up in his drunken mind.   
“Wait, wait, I need to carry you.”   
“What?“  
“We just got married, I need to carry you thru the door.”   
Fabrizio throw his head back in laughter.   
“You can barely carry yourself. If anything I'll be carrying you.”   
“No, no.” Ermal got closer and hugged Fabrizio around the middle, lifting him slightly and carrying him thru the door. Fabrizio held to his shoulders, and had to bend his head not to hit the top of the door frame, but apart from that, he was fine. He was still grateful when Ermal put him back down, but let out a chuckle nevertheless. They looked at eachother.   
“No what?” Ermal whispered.   
“Now we go to bed.”   
“I can't…”   
“I wouldn't. What I meant was, we go to bed to sleep, just sleep.”   
Ermal nodded. “Do you want to go the bathroom first? I want to go to the balcony for a moment.”   
“Sure.”   
Fabrizio left for the bathroom and Ermal went on the balcony. He fished a cigaret out of his pocket and lit it up. The slight panic rises in him again as he realized how real the situacion he found himself in was. He was alone on the balcony of a hotel room, or rather the apartment, that he shared with his new husband. A husband! A husband he just carried thru the door. A husband he will share a bed with tonight. A husband he will go to a honeymoon tomorrow. He lift a cigaret back to his lips with shaky hands, what the hell did he got himself into? 

In the bathroom Fabrizio was facing another side of the same situacion. He couldn't believe how well they matched him. From the moment he walked down the ail and took Ermal's hands in his own he felt butterflies in his stomach, and that was all without even knowing the guy. Now, that they talked a little, Ermal truly seemed to meet all of his expectations. He is funny and smart, creative and polite, not too loud, and most importantly - at last for Fabrizio, he likes children and doesn't mind Fabrizio having them already. And on top of all of this, he is drop dead gorgeous. Looking in the mirror, Fabrizio saw himself blush with that thought. He never considered himself having a type, but if he had one, it was definitely Ermal. He put on his pajamas, he usually slapped in his underwear but he figured it could be a little much for the first night with a stranger, and now meeting Ermal, he was happy he decided to pack them. When he walked out of the bathroom he noticed the room was empty and dark and Ermal was still on the balcony, finishing his cigarette. 

“I'm done with the bathroom, if you want to go now.”   
Ermal seemed to be pulled out of some deep thinking, he looked at Fabrizio almost confused.   
“Yeah, I'll go.”   
He didn't need much time, just a quick shower, to wash the day of himself, and he was back to their room. Fabrizio was already laying in bed on his side reading a book under the nightlight. When he heard Ermal he turned toward him and seeing the youngers uncertainty, saied:  
“I can sleep on the couch if sharing a bed makes you feel uncomfortable. It's okay, I understand.”   
Ermal shook his head and got under the covers on the empty side. He did feel a little weird, but why would this be any different then all the times he fell asleep in the car next to Andrea, driving to their concert, waking with his head on the other's shoulder or vice versa? And how many times a hotel bed was a meeting point of the whole bend after a concert, just to chill and talk? And that one time in Albania, waiting for an interview, when him and Marco took a nap in the same bed because they were both so tired from the plane ride they dosed of during talking? This wasn't any different. They will simply sleep on the same surface, each on their own side, nothing more. And there was nothing scary about that.   
Fabrizio turned the light off and Ermal moved so he wasn't facing him. They felt asleep quickly. 

***

In the next episode: Our lovely couple goes to honeymoon, will the wecation bring them closer, or drift them apart? Find out in the next episode of Married at first sight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous episode our newlywed couple learned some secrets about each other and had their wedding night. Will their honeymoon be as successful as their wedding? Or will it break them apart? Find out in this episode of Married at first sight!

Fabrizio was the first to wake up, way before the alarm clock, but at least this time it was already day outside. He woke up many times during the night, wasn't able to sleep much, new bed and a new situation taking their part in it, not in a negative way. Ermal wasn't doing much better, Fabrizio felt him tossing and turning in his sleep all night. But at least now he was sleeping peacefully. Fabrizio turned from his back to his side so he was facing his sleeping husband. Ermal's eyes were covered by his hair and Fabrizio wanted to move them away but was afraid he'd wake him. Instead he just observed the sleeping man. In the morning light and peaceful like this, Ermal looked a lot younger than him, and Fabrizio wondered how old he actually was? He'll have to ask him, alongside so many other things. There was so much to learn about one another, but Fabrizio had a good feeling about this. For once, he was looking forward to starting a new relationship. 

The alarm went off and Fabrizio quickly tried to turn it off, but the damage had already been done, Ermal was slowly opening his eyes. Fabrizio couldn't hide his smile as he watched him. Ermal's eyes widened for a moment as they meet Fabrizio's and he blushed just a little. Fabrizio had never seen a more beautiful sight.  
“Good morning.”  
“Morning.” Ermal closed his eyes and buried his face in the blanket.  
“How are you feeling? Slept well?” Fabrizio asked even thought he knew the answer.  
“No, not really, but I've never been much of a sleeper. My head hurts a bit. I've drank a lot yesterday.” He looked up with apologetic eyes.  
“You did. Do you remember carrying me thru the door?”  
“Oh no,” he cover his face with his hands, “I hoped I dreamed it. I'm sorry.”  
“Why? It was fun.”  
Ermal only shrugged.  
“I usually don't drink that much.”  
“Nider do I.”  
“Ugh, what's the time?”  
Fabrizio looked to his phone. “Seven, we still have some time. You can sleep some more if you want.”  
Ermal buried himself deeper in the blanked, only now he noticed they shared it.  
“I'm not a morning person.” He mumbled.  
“I am, but only when my mornings starts around eleven.” That got him a small smile. “Do you like coffee in the morning?”  
“Yes.”  
“How do you take it?”  
“Black.”  
“Okay, stay here, I'll get us some. Want room service to? i think we are alowed to have it today.”  
At the mentioning of foot Ermal suddenly felt hungry so he nodded.  
Fabrizio went to make them coffee in the small kitchen and looked around for the menu. 

Ermal sat down in bed. So this wasn't hard or any different from waking up next to a woman. It was different from waking up alone, but that's normal, right? And waking up to someone new is always wired, but this felt quite … good? It felt normal. The panic only started rising in him now that he started thinking about it. But why panic? There is nothing to panic about, just two friends sharing a hotel room, he'd done that with his old band when they had to travel cheap. Except Fabrizio wasn't his friend, wasn't Dino, who felt almost like a brother to him, Fabrizio was his husband. Ermal put his head on his knees and tried to calm himself down with slow breaths. He had a husband. A husband who is a man. He heard Fabrizio coming back and he quickly raised his head, not wanting the other to see him like this.  
“I found the menu. Apparently their specialty is pancakes, they have 25 different types.”  
Ermal took the offered menu and looked into it.  
“I like pancakes, haven't had them in a while.”  
“Why not?”  
“I don't know, they are just not the type of food a grow mane would order in a restaurant.”  
“In our household they are a weekly occasion.” Ermal looked at him with big questening eyes and Fabrizio explained. “Libero and Anita love them.”  
“Oh right,” he forgot about the kids, “do you make them?”  
“Yes, I've used to be a disaster in the kitchen, but since I've got the two little burgers I've learned a lot. We often cook together, they love to help, or well, they think they are helping.” Fabrizio finished with a smile, and  
Ermal spread his lips in a one as well. What a nice image that was, Fabrizio flipping pancakes with Libero sitting on the counter next to him and Anita hanging of his leg, impatiently waiting for the food to be done. It felt domestic, warm and loving. He could - he could live like that. Maybe. He could fit in this family. If the kids would like him, of course, and if he'll be able to grow over the fact he is married to their father. A father! A man! Ermal's mind started to panic again, so he looked up at the man in front of him. Funny enough that calmed him down. Fabrizio was still talking about his children with a soft smile on his lips and Ermal smiled to. Maybe, just maybe, he is going to be alright. 

They ordered breakfast, and finished their coffee, and Ermal was surprised how easily the conversation ren between them. It was easy talking to Fabrizio. He had an interesting view on the world, and a similar way of thinking to his own. Fabrizio was also very soft spoken and had a way of expressing his opinions in a polite way. Ermal liked that, eating breakfast with him felt nice.  
After, they packed a few things they took from their bags previous night, and left for the airport. They weren't told where their honeymoon will be, so they followed the young flightasisstant that waited for them at the airport. Ermal managed to sneak a look at the 'departure' board, but there was way too many flights on, to figure where they could be leaving. The airport was pretty crowded and the assistant was walking fast in her heels. At one point Fabrizio grabbed for Ermal's hand, automatically, not to lose him in a crowd. But Ermal pulled away quickly.  
"Sorry, I didn't mean -"  
"It's okay. I just …" He didn't know what to say, without explaining everything to Fabrizio, and they were already losing the assistant in the crowd so he just looked down nervously. Fabrizio offered a solucion.  
"We'll talk on the plane, okay?"  
"Yes."  
They quickly started walking again. 

They were the first two people on the plane, due to the early boarding they were given, but nothing gave away their destinacion. Fabrizio broke the silence that set between them since the accident with the hand holding.  
"Where do you think we're going?"  
"I have no idea, hopefully somewhere with the sea?"  
"Oh, that would be nice. You like the sea?"  
"A lot. Where would you want us to go?"  
"Ehm," Fabrizio brushed the back of his neck embarrassed, "I'm hoping we'll stay in Italy. I don't really speak any other language."  
"Really? Well, you're lucky then, I speak a few.“  
The conversation flowed between them again, while the other passengers boarded. When the plane was just about to take off, their questions were finally answered by the pilot who wished them a pleasant flight to Lisbon.  
"Oh wow, we're going to Lisbon!?"  
"It has the sea." Fabrizio smiled.  
"And the language you don't understand."  
"Hey you! You promised you'll help me out."  
"Yes, but not without teasing." The smile that played on Ermal's lips made Fabrizio let out a little chuckle, and he wondered if he'll survive this week, or will the man next to him be his end. With how far gone he already was for him, that wouldn't even be surprising. They both laughed as the plane took off. 

Sitting in silence, after they have been flying for some time Ermal turned to look at Fabrizio.  
"Can we talk now. About what happened when you took my hand?"  
"Of course, If you're comfortable with that."  
Ermal nobbed. He was, but there were still parts he wanted to keep to himself, so he took a moment to clear his mind and decide what he’ll say to Fabrizio.  
"It's not a big deal, it's just that I need some time to - to open up, to get comfortable. And it's not your fault, really, it's not because you're a man or something, it's just how I always am. Sometimes suden touches from the people I don't know … kind of … scare me. Especially in big crowded places. And I'm not saying I don't know you, I mean, I don't know you all that well, but you're not a stranger any more -," he took a deep breath trying to collect his mind again, a very vivid images of the times he was ‘touched’ against his will, played in his head, but he pushed them aside. "What I'm trying to say is that you did nothing wrong. This is all my fault." He looked down in his lap, feeling ashamed that something as simple as holding hands is a problem to him. Fabrizio noticed the discomfort in Ermal’s speech and very softly added:  
"Thank you for trusting me with this, Ermal. If I understand correctly, you have a bit of a trust ishu?"  
Ermal nodded. "But don't we all? With me it's different, I need a really long time sometimes."  
"There's nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with you. If anything, it's normal not to trust somebody you meet not even a full 24 hours ago, even if we're married." He winked at the younger. "But I would love to get to know you better, and I wish for you to get to know me too. And maybe one day, we'll be able to trust each other completely. But until then, we can build our trust slowly, step by step, with a lot of communication. Okay?"  
"O-okay."  
"So let's agree, if I do something you don't like, you tell me, like you did now, yes? And I'll tell you if you'll do something I'm not okay with. But for the beginning, is there still something on top of your mind you'd want me to know?"  
"No, it's just this touching thing. And - em - thank you. For being so understanding."  
Fabrizio smiled warmly at him.  
"It's not a problem at all. I want you to feel comfortable with me. And if that means no touching, I won't touch you again."  
"No-no," Ermal dropped his head in his hands, "it's not that you can't touch me at all, maybe just -, I'm okay if I see it coming, or if I know it will happen - like handshaking, yes, when you meet somebody you shake hands, I know that will happen and I'm okay with it. I'm just not okay with - I don't know… I don't know. I'm sorry."  
"Hey, that's okay, nothing to be sorry for. So you have a problem with the touches you don't expect?" He saw the other nodd. "What about some middle ground then? What if I asked you before? So it wouldn't be all sudden, and you'd had a chance to decide? I would be okay if you'd say no, of course."  
Ermal finally looked back at Fabrizio and nodded again.  
"So if I asked you now, to hold your hand, would that be okay?“  
Ermal thought for a moment and than surprised them both when he offered his open palm to Fabrizio. Fabrizio put his own hand in his and squeezed it slightly. Ermal had to admit it didn't feel bad. For some reason he thought their hands won't fit, that Fabrizio's hand will be too big, or feel to heavy in his, but it wasn't. It was rather nice. A little awkward, since they were holding hands in such clinical way - so carefully, but still warm and comforting.  
"I'm actually afraid of flying you know, so this" Fabrizio slightly lifted their hands, "helps a little."  
"Really? Why do you think that is? I've heard that fear often happens after one has kids."  
"O? I never thought about it, but now that you said, I think it really did start after Libero was born…" They easily slipped back into the conversation and after a while their hand holding wasn't as awkward anymore, it wasn't their main point of atencion, and they relaxed, forgetting about their hands. 

They only let go when the plane landed and suddenly Ermal's hand felt very cold and lonely. He wouldn't admit it to himself, but he missed the feeling.

Lisbon was hot and sunny. Their flight wasn't long, but they were both tired by the time they arrived at the hotel. Their room was very modern and spacious, with an enormous bed. There was a 'surprise' in the corner of the room, opposite the bed, was a rounded milky white glass wall that barely hid the bathroom with a shower, bigger than Ermal's first apartment was, and a jacuzzi. On a coffee table, a cold champagne was waiting for them, surrounded by heart shaped chocolates. But Ermal's favourite part of the room was a small balcony with the sea wive. He found himself going to the balcony to enjoy the view and smoke a cigarette, leaving his husband behind, but Fabrizio soon joined him with two glasses of champagne. They drinked in silence. 

A sudden thought hit Ermal as he let the last sip of champagne down his throat - he was being unfair. He was leading Fabrizio on. The other man did not deserve that, they both entered this experiment with so much hope, and what Fabrizio got was a straight man. A man that could never give him what he wanted or needed. He should broke this off the moment he first saw him! But now they were in Lisbon, on a honeymoon, and he can't -.  
"Hey, you seem thoughtful. What's on your mind?"  
The moment Ermal meet a pair of chocolate brown eyes, his thoughts lost the intensity. He didn't panic anymore and the situation didn't seem so unbearable. But he knew he had to talk to Fabrizio about this. To let him know where they stand and not gave him false hope. Fabrizio was a good man and he deserved as much.  
"Fabrizio, we need to talk." 

And they did, over the dinner in a fancy restaurant. Ermal tried to think of the way how to break the news to Fabrizio but in the end he ended vomiting the words in the least elegant way possible.  
"I can't do this anymore."  
Fabrizio looked at him with sad eyes and Ermal had to look away, he couldn't bear the look on himself, knowing he was the reason for it. Fabrizio knew what Ermal ment, but still asked quietly:  
"Wha-what do you mean?"  
Ermal took a deep breath, he had to do this, it was only right.  
"What I mean is, you are an amazing person and you deserve somebody who can truly make you happy. And I - I'm just not that person. It seems unfair to me to lead you on and make you hope that we could both get something out of this, when it's clear I will never be able to give you what you deserve. I am just a waste of your time. Sorry."  
Ermal's words hit Fabrizio hard, and he needed a moment to understand that they went from having this great conversation and what felt to him as some kind of connection, to this, to Ermal not wanting to try anymore. But what could he do? Nothing, nothing but show his support again.  
"I understand. And I respect your decision, I wouldn't want to push you into something you don't want." Fabrizio spoke quietly, but Ermal was still able to detect the sadness in his voice. "But Ermal, do you want to end this right now and go home? Or will you wait for us to get back from Lisbon?"  
"I haven't thought of that yet."  
Fabrizio noded. He tried to keep his emotions under control but this news was breaking his heart more than he thought was possible. As little time as they spend together, Fabrizio really liked it and it was hurtful knowing Ermal didn't feel the same. He knew his emotions were written on his face and he got his confirmation when Ermal spoke again.  
"Fabrizio? I really am sorry."  
Fabrizio swallowed down his disappointment and tried to smile.  
"I know, it's okay, it's not your fault you're not attracted to men. You can decide what to do tomorrow, it's too late now anyway. Wanna go back to the hotel?“  
"Yes, please."  
They left the restaurant and the two still full plates of food, both not hungry anymore, and went back to their room. 

"I - I'll sleep on the couch." Ermal announced and took the pillow and a blanket, even if it was too hot to use one, leaving Fabrizio space. After all he did, he didn't deserve to share a bed with this man.  
"As you wish." Replayed the older and was happy the room was dark, the only source of light coming from the big windows facing the sea and a busy street, so Ermal couldn't see his face properly.  
Laying in the bed this big alone felt empty and cold, even if the air around him was hot, he wished there was somebody next to him. Fabrizio never had a problem with being single. He understood himself and knew it was better to be alone, than to date somebody just for the sake of dating. And especially now, with his children, he didn't want random people to be around. But this part, laying in the bad alone, was always hard for him. He had no problem going to the cinema alone, or for a walk, not even to weddings or concerts. He had no problem cooking alone, he had no problem watching the tv alone, he had no problem spending his time alone. But he had a problem falling asleep alone. Every night at home, he would toss and turn around in his big bed, to the point when he considered getting a single bed, just so it wouldn't feel so empty and cold. The only reason he didn't, was that every now and then, Anita would slip in his bed with a book of fairytales and while he would read to her, she would fell asleep. He'd let her, her small body making his bed not so big and her slow breathing making the loneliness quieter. Libero would join him too. He would quietly stumble into his room in the middle of the night and stand in front of the bed, not knowing if he should wake his father, but Fabrizio would wake up the moment he'd hear the door open. He would then raise the blanket and Libero would cuddle close to him.  
"Another nightmare?" "Yes." "It's just a dream." "I know." But Fabrizio would happily hold his son thru the night of peaceful dreams for them both. This way, his nights were less lonely, but they were very few. 

From where he was lying he could see the back of the couch Ermal was sleeping on, and the bed seemed even bigger with the potential of finally having another person to sleep in it with him. He turned to the other side and hoped for the dreams to come before the loneliness. 

***

In the next episode: Ermal accepts a very important decision. How will Fabrizio take it? Find out in the next episode of Married at first sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find my writing to be a little bit messy and confused at times in this story, I'm sorry. But at the same time I think it fits well with their feelings. So I hope you can bare with me. <3

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a reality show I watched the other day. Watching it, my first thought was, what if metamoro did that? The show is called Married at the first sight. It is completely ridiculous, if you wanna cheak it out, I think some parts are on youtube. XD


End file.
